Week 7

[Nicole Schaffrich]

Fucking Jun.

Shit is about to go down in this house and it's not going to be pretty. I've always had my reservations about Jun. I've noted that she's paranoid, plays too hard, insults my intelligence, etc. And now all of these issues have finally boiled over and we have a pretty major situation on our hands. But before I get into the juicy details, I want to clearly illustrate just how long this entire situation has been gestating. Let's take a trip down Nicole's Diary Room Lane, shall we?

October 1:

"I like Jun a lot and I'm excited to be working together, but this bitch is playing way too hard, way too fast. She is pumping out one strategy after another after another; form a side alliance with A and B, but convince them that you'll also work together with C and D, then we'll get E to work together with......you get the idea. Jun wants to build an army but she's not leaving any enemies; that could mean some serious bad news for me."

October 8:

"She's extremely paranoid and confrontational, immediately targetting anyone who says even the slightest thing that isn't in her favour. And when I encourage her to take it easy, she parrots my opinions as a means of placating me. Honey, I'm not a child; I know what you're doing. […] I really get the sense that Jun thinks she can play me like a fiddle. So I feed this notion by constantly posing questions and asking for advice. Jun needs to feel like she's the leader and, while I find that annoying and personally insulting, I'm more than happy to oblige her for the sake of the game."

October 12:

"I told Jun, point blank, that what she said wasn't true, and she laughed it off with a series of self-deprecating comments - "What?" "Where have I been?" "Was I taking cold meds?" - and then swiftly changed the subject. I play stupid with you, Jun, because you're threatened by intelligence and even the slightest semblance of an assertive attitude, but I have two degrees in literature...I can read between the fucking lines."

Last night, Jun expressed her fears (for the hundredth time) about her fate once the Zombie Slayers make it to the final five. I can relate; I'm somewhat scared I'll be the first person evicted too. But I made sure to reassure her and emphasized that this is ultimately just a game and we should be proud of one another for staying loyal and sticking together for so long. Really, for an alliance of five to form in Week 2 and make it to the very end of the game completely intact is an enormous and extremely commendable feat. Even if I placed fifth in this season, I would be so proud of our hard work and the fact that I'm a member of such a dominant alliance. Apparently, that wasn't enough reassurance for Jun. I asked her if she would be willing to make a deal with me - that if either of us is HoH in the final five round, we wouldn't nominate each other - and her response was a question: "What about as a pawn?" She explained that she wouldn't want to backdoor me, but using me as a pawn would keep me safe because she would break the 1-1 tie. First of all, what's to say the vote will be a tie in the first place? Secondly, who else did you already promise not to nominate in the final five? True to form, she changed the subject. Eventually, she confessed to having a final two deal with Porsche but was beginning to think that she would rather have a final two deal with me. I remained entirely non-committal…kind of the way she was with my final five offer.

After our conversation, all of my red flags were up. Jun can't be trusted and I need to make sure that she's evicted first once we make it to the final five. So I went to Sarah (who Jun suggested be the first Slayer evicted) and essentially told her everything. I confessed that I was worried about Jun's loyalty and I wanted to give Sarah the heads-up as we approach the last few weeks. And finally, in a very loosely-worded way, Sarah and I agreed to be in the final two.

This morning, I spoke with Porsche, who was similarly expressing doubt about Jun. I was hesitant at first; I didn't want to divulge too much information because I feared it might get back to Jun and I was slightly suspicious that it may have been a set-up to test my loyalty. Soon enough, however, I started to realize that Porsche was being entirely genuine. She was worried that Jun would flip this week for several reasons. Firstly, Jun keeps reasserting how badly she wants to be an All-Star…which means she's going to try to make herself memorable by making big moves, even if they're completely stupid. Secondly, she told both Porsche and me that if she wins HoH, she'll need time to think by herself and won't invite us into the HoH room. Now, I don't save chat logs (I usually just copy and paste exchanges I find interesting) so I don't have the actual text, but I'll paraphrase loosely:

Nicole: Why wouldn't you invite us? We've practically been there all season; why stop now?
Jun: Because I need a place to think alone. I don't want people knowing what I'm thinking.
Nicole: .....You realize it's a message board, right? Thinking happens in your head. In real life.
Jun: But I want to post my thoughts so I can make it onto All-Stars.
Nicole: So...like a diary room?
Jun: Yeah!

…Blank stare. Clearly, she's inviting someone; it just isn't me. But again, Jun seems to think I'm cognitively deficient. Porsche and I decided to keep it between us (although I had already been discussing it with Sarah, and I knew that they had been discussing it separately as well), and keep our eyes open for anymore suspicious activity. But when we left off speaking, we agreed to stick to the plan we already had in place: evict Steven and Dustin (most likely in that order) and then play against one another in the final five.

But things change so quickly in this house, don't they? I signed on tonight to see a private message from Jun, entitled "Emergency." I rolled my eyes involuntarily. And then Jun sealed her own fate:

(As always, I corrected any spelling mistakes and removed unimportant chat abbreviations [LOL, LMAO, etc.], but none of these amendments alter the tone or context.)

Nicole: Heyy, what's wrong?
Jun: Oh my fucking God.
Jun: Thank God.
Jun: I love you sooooooooooooooooo much.
Nicole: What is going on??
Jun: This stays between you and I.
Jun: I have a feeling I’m targeted next or Steven.
Nicole: Why would you be targeted next?
Jun: Keep this between you and I.
Jun: Dustin is worried about me coming after him.
Nicole: Okay, so what if he's worried?
Jun: He kinda told Porsche, Renny & Sarah.
Jun: And I’m worried that he planted seeds of doubt in them.
Nicole: I'm sure he tried, why wouldn't he? It's no big deal, as long as we stick to the plan we have in place.
Jun: No, I was talking to him earlier this week.
Jun: And he told me he would want to talk to Porsche, Renny and Sarah about it first.
Jun: In the back of my mind, I was like, what about Nicole?
Jun: Promise me this stays between you and I.
Nicole: Okay, I won't say anything; I'm just confused connecting the dots.
Jun: Dustin, Porsche, Renny, Sarah: final four.
Jun: Instead of us.
Nicole: I don't think that's going to happen. I'm confident the rest of the girls will stick to the plan.
Nicole: Jun, don't let the paranoia get to you, not when we're this close to our goal.
Jun: Nicole please. Listen to me.
Jun: If we can break off and draw first blood, you have no idea how much control we have.
Nicole: I have to disagree; it's way too early.
Nicole: I don't think this is a smart decision.
Jun: Like, I have yours and Steven’s back for sure.
Jun: I just want Dustin gone.
Jun: The root of all evil.
Nicole: I want us five girls in the final five; that's been my goal since week two.
Jun: Because if he stays, he can create a rift between the alliance.

I'm sorry; let me get this straight. You just suggested turning on the Zombie Slayers…but Dustin will create a rift in our alliance? It's these lapses in psychology that make me think Jun is dumb as a box of hair. Or she thinks I'm the dumb one. Either way, it's completely insulting and annoying to talk to someone who makes no fucking sense and then pretends like they don't realize it. Jun truly believes she's playing a fantastic game; she actually brags about her social game all the time. But does she realize that both her lies and her overall strategy are completely transparent? It gets better:

Jun: Okay, can you promise me something?
Nicole: Okay.
Jun: And you have my word on this.
Jun: You and me, final two.
Jun: I asked Porsche about our final two deal.
Jun: Her answers weren’t promising.
Jun: So I doubt she will stick to it.
Jun: Which is why I’m taken back a little and regret making final two deal with Porsche.
Nicole: Jun, I'm going to be 100% honest with you because I respect you and we've been tight from the start of the game. I can't commit to that deal right now because you're scaring me.
Jun:
Nicole: I need to know that your loyalty is to the five of us girls.
Jun: It is.
Jun: All I said is I wanted Dustin out. >.<

I don't even know what the fuck that face at the end means. Jun, you just fucked your own game so hard, it's looking for money on the nightstand. Stop focusing on All-Stars and pay attention to the game that you're actually playing. Last night, you couldn't even commit to not nominating each other in the final five. Twenty-four hours later, you're asking me to turn on our alliance and promise each other final two? What the fuck are you smoking? And when I brought this up to her, her response was: "I was just joking!" Oh, child…

I told Sarah and Porsche everything. If Jun wants this to be the week that shit goes down, she's getting her wish…but things aren't going to go down the way that she wants them to. I'm genuinely disappointed that the five of us can't stick together until the end, but sometimes, downsizing can be a good thing. Jun brought this on herself and she's a total idiot for doing it. I'm dying to win this next HoH; at the cost of her jury vote, I want to do the honours myself.

[Nicole Schaffrich]

That awkward moment when the guy who's done nothing all season wins HoH…

No, I'm kidding; that was mean. Steven is great, but let's be honest: he's made it this far in the game largely by being unthreatening. But now that he's clearly aligned with Jun - who seems intent on drawing blood this round - things are going to get pretty messy.

I actually hate what a smug bitch Jun is going to be this week. I can't wait to evict her fat ass from this house. But in order to do that, I have to make sure I'm still in this house by the time this week is over. It's time to regroup, come up with a new plan of attack, and work this situation to my advantage as much as possible. I love Dustin to pieces but I'm going to have to throw him under the bus hard this week. I'm going to exploit Jun's insecurities about Dustin to the extreme, make her believe he's her biggest threat in this game, and hopefully, she'll influence Steven to target him. I can already tell that I'm going to feel really guilty about this but I have to protect myself. And that means protecting the Foxy Four of us that are left.

[Nicole Schaffrich]

How uninformed was my last mini-confessional? I feel bad for deriding Steven's gameplay, especially when I didn't even know enough about it to make an accurate assessment. Moreover, I feel bad for having only negative thoughts when he won HoH. The guy is a total class act; if I won HoH, I'm positive he would have actually been excited for me, so I should've reacted in the same way. We might not necessarily be playing on the same "side" in this game, but I have a ton of respect for him. He's a great guy.

That being said, I am so relieved - no, not even just relieved; I'm completely thrilled - at this week's turn of events! I tip my imaginary hat to Porsche and Sarah for getting the ball rolling on turning Steven against Jun. Not only does it keep us safe for the week - and accomplish what would have been our goal, anyway - but it also helped clarify and crystallize the reasons I never trusted Jun in the first place. This was especially the case when Steven and I began comparing notes.

(I'm at work at the moment so I can't post my conversation with Steven, but I will once I'm home.)

Steven told me that Jun had offered him a final three deal that included me...of which I was entirely unaware, by the way. Let's recall that the final three deal Jun offered me included Porsche. Then, he explained that Jun told him I wasn't "taking the bait." According to Steven, that was the moment that he realized that something was fishy. I'm going to give Steven a lot more credit, though. He's a mature and intelligent adult. Jun is a petulant, immature child who underestimates the intellectual capacities of others and severely overestimates her own. (Her atrocious spelling and confused diction drove me up the wall, but who am I, mere underling, to correct her?) My guess is that Steven saw right through her bad lies and empty promises, and realized that she is the least trustworthy person in this house. I essentially told Steven everything about Jun (leaving out, of course, my ties to Renny, Sarah, and Porsche). I described the final three deal, the final two deal, the request to use me as a pawn in the final five, her paranoia about a Sarah-Dustin-Renny-Porsche alliance, everything. And, in fact, there was a significant amount of overlap between what she told me and what she told Steven.

I couldn't help but wonder if Steven was making a mistake by turning on Jun this week. In all honesty, as much as I love him, Steven and I aren't working together, and I don't know if he has any legitimate allies left in the game once Jun is evicted (which will, hopefully, happen this week). The thing is, I promised Steven that I wouldn't target him next week in exchange for not being nominated this week (and I made this promise before I knew he was turning on Jun). Now, I could rely on semantics and point out I said I would't "target" him, not that I wouldn't "nominate" him, but that's kind of a shitty thing to do. If I win HoH next week, I wonder if I can get away with nominating him as a "pawn," and letting the voting houseguests have their way. It's a cowardly thing to do and it goes against all my preaching about respect. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I already have a bit of blood on my hands from players far less mature than Steven; I'm not afraid to continue the trend.

On a final note, I'm dying to win the Power of Veto. I want to be the one to seal Jun's fate, and I want to see how desperate she'll get during her final moments in the house. I've said it before and I'll say it again: fuck her jury vote. This shit is personal.

[Nicole Schaffrich]

As promised, here is my conversation with Steven. The usual formatting disclaimer applies.

Steven: Listen Nicole, I am not targeting you at all this week because, like you said I really like and respect you in this game.
Steven: Plus my added safety for next week didn't hurt. :-P
Nicole: Well I appreciate that a lot :-) And trust me, I'm not quick to forget when people do good things for me.
Steven: But I only have one problem with what you said... And that's Jun.
Nicole: Okay, we can talk about that.
Nicole: I definitely have more than a few things to say on the topic.
Steven: Honestly, she kind of approached me with the same "eye opening" revelation not too long ago, like earlier this week.
Steven: And I thought, oh my god, she's right.
Steven: But after every single person in this house has told me about deals she's been making that sounded similar to what she tried to do with me, I've been very cautious.
Nicole: That's what i meant when i said eye-opening.
Steven: She basically told me that me you and her were the outcasts of the house and that we should all stick together.
Steven: And I thought, ok, maybe that makes sense.
Nicole: She said the three of us to stick together?
Steven: Yeah.
Steven: And she made it sound like you were totally into this plan she had.
Nicole: She never mentioned a plan for the three of us to stick together. She said me, her and Porsche for final three. And i turned her down.
Nicole: Because just the day before, she had asked if she could nominate me as a pawn if she won HoH.
Steven: And then, moments later, she told me that you weren't "taking the bait", which was my first sign of something fishy going on.
Nicole: Oh wow...
Nicole: Taking the bait, hunh?
Steven: I know, those were her words exactly, and that isn't usually the best way to describe something like that...
Nicole: I think Jun has offered nearly everyone some kind of long-term deal.
Steven: Definitely.
Steven: She told me that people had brought my name up a lot recently, and that it was an alliance of Porsche, Dustin, Sarah and Renny.
Nicole: She said the same thing to me too, about Porsche, Dustin, Renny and Sarah.
Nicole: That she suspected they had a final four deal together.
Steven: Right.
Steven: That's all I've heard. Completely unprovoked, too.
Steven: It's all just too fishy for me.
Steven: So I guess she's my target this week.
Nicole: Well, you have my support in that, 100%.